To Do Good

This week I was touched by the death of two people, both passing too early by normal standards.  I knew neither but still I was moved by their passing.  The first was my neighbor who lived in the apartment over the garage in the house behind me.  She was twenty-six years old.  She was killed in an automobile accident Friday night on I 75 between Atlanta and Chattanooga.  I travel that route almost weekly and can picture where the accident happened.  What I have more trouble picturing is her parents facing each day without their only child. All day Saturday cars arrived and sitting on my back porch drinking my coffee I watched as each greeted the other with tears.  I knew in my heart someone had died but did not know who. But kept watching for the daughter and she was not among the ones mourning.  Her life cut short in the blink of an eye.

Then the mother of one of my Girl Scouts posted that she lost her father.  I did not know him either, but I know his daughter and granddaughter well.  He was only fifty-four years old and died peacefully in a chair on his back porch after closing his eyes to rest.  He was just given a good health report at a recent check-up.  It doesn’t matter that she has brothers and a sister to share this loss, the pain is still there and when we talked she said she was “hanging in there.” I can say with all honesty I do know how she feels having lost my mother who died in her sleep.

But none of us walks in the exact same steps as the other.  The best gift we can give those touched by such tragedy is our presence and compassion.  The lesson for me is to remind myself that life is short and we never know how quickly it can change.  As hard as it sounds, we are called to live each day as if it were our first day and last day. 

 
As Leo Tolstoy writes in his story the "Three Questions" – “Remember then: there is only one time that is important-- Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with anyone else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life!"

Connected by Love

It’s nice to be Mimi and Mark instead of Pris and Mark at times. We say, “What happens at Mimi’s stays at Mimi’s.”  And that is the rule.  The other day Paige joined us for the evening and dinner.  While playing a game of Monopoly, she and Hayden devoured two bowls of Gold Fish each.  I thought this would ruin their dinner but it did not.  Hayden ate his macaroni and cheese and Paige ate two helpings of chicken, rice and peas and all of Hayden’s turkey.  She was hungry.  Although they are almost four years apart, they are able to find a happy medium where each can express themselves and be their own person.  They are each a piece of their fathers, funny, quick-witted, kind, gentle, and sweet. And not to just each other but to all they meet.  Hayden and Paige’s love for each other is so darling.  Each could not wait to see the other and together they shared a great afternoon of imagination, fun, games, dancing, videos, and computer games.  They played outside on the newly cut grass chasing each other, laughing with joy and just enjoying each other’s company. Not unlike Jason and his siblings did growing up.

Three Generations of Shartle Men

This week Hayden’s father celebrates his38th birthday.  I can’t begin to express how delighted his father and I are to be a part of Jason’s life and how proud we are of him.  Being able to visit him and his beautiful wife in Marietta and share in their precious son’s life is such a joy.    He was the first of our four children to spend more time on a computer than outside playing when growing up, and so it makes sense now that he’s the one the family calls on when we have a computer question. I look back on the little boy with those long eyelashes and ability to put anything together just by looking at the directions even before he could read and I am not amazed at how he is today.  His love for his two brothers and sister shows in his generosity of time and talents. Pictured is Jason, Mark and Hayden sitting at the barber shop waiting for Hayden's haircut.  It says it all.  Connected by a love for each other and for family, I’m not surprised that he is happiest when the family is together for a Shartle family event.  Happy birthday Jason!  Have a great day!  We love you! ~ Pris (a.k.a. Mom)

 

 

Walking in Our Shoes

I am not unfamiliar with conferences having attended my fair share over the years as a delegate for Presbyterian Women, Early Childhood Education, Girl Scouts, P.E.O., and as a visitor to the CAC’s conference “Walking in Our Shoes” yesterday. Whether it’s a group of 500 or 5,000, I always leave feeling empowered.  And yesterday was no different.

My daughter-in-law, Debbie and I attended four of the five workshops choosing to spend time in the exhibiter’s room which was filled with valuable information.  Both of us came home with goodies to share with Lexi and her parents.  I could write a book on what I learned in the three sessions I attended and what amazed me is that some of the lessons were applicable to all children, not just special needs.

One story I will share hit home dearly.  I attended the “Helping Your Child be a Successful Writer” led by Jacinta McGavock, EdD.  As a writer, this was a subject close to my heart.  I learned so much especially when she got to the part about the steps to finalizing a story and the presentation.  For months now I have been meeting with our Junior Girl Scouts working on their Bronze Award.  This past Sunday we meet, planned, discussed, and brainstormed fundraising ideas.  We did a lot, or so I thought.  Upon leaving, Paige said, “Well, that was a waste of time.”  I had to laugh.  But it didn’t occur to me until Dr. McGavock’s session that I’ve been documenting every one of our meetings (as required) but the girls have not seen the pictures, notes, and list of what we accomplished at each meeting.  Thanks to the lesson, I’m going to collect all my documentation, give it to the girls and let them start writing their presentation to the Council by using video cameras, power point presentations, scrapbooks, or whatever they can create.

I am so grateful for the Chattanooga Autism Center for this opportunity.  I could not close without adding that the highlight of the event was the keynote speakers, Gina Gallagher and Patricia Kojoian sisters and co-authors of the book “Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid.”  Creators of The Movement of Imperfection invite “parents of ‘non-perfect’ kids to come out of their messy closets and talk about the accomplishments of their children.” We laughed and cried as we heard their journeys and reflected on how all of us with imperfect children and grandchildren were walking in the same shoes.

Finally, before leaving I was able to purchase one of their books for my daughter Jennifer.  Gina signed the book with a personal message to my daughter.  And WDEF interviewed me asking me how I felt about my granddaughter Lexi.  In my four seconds of fame, I said how much I love her gift of joy and inner spirit. ~ Pris

Living Under the Autism Spectrum

Today I’m headed to the 6^th Annual Chattanooga Autism Awareness Conference, “Walking in Our Shoes” at the Chattanooga Convention Center.  My daughter-in-law Debbie and I are spending the day attending the sessions and trying to learn more about what it means to walk in the shoes of my daughter, her husband, their youngest daughter and six year-old daughter, Lexi who is in the Autism Spectrum.  Before we had a diagnosis, it was easy to think my granddaughter was what the doctors and teachers said, a misbehaved, self-centered, unfocused, daydreaming child.  I am ashamed that it took a diagnosis to recognize her gift.  Being under the spectrum is not a disease; it is a statement of fact.  We can’t make it go away, but we can find ways to live with it.

Every day her parents deal with occupational therapist, speech therapist, doctors, teachers, and so on, all trying to find what works and what doesn’t so that she can grow and learn and live a quality life that we all want her to live.  And even though we live hundreds of miles away from our sweet Lexi, we want to be ready to consistent with what she is learning at home when she is here with us visiting.  And so Debbie and I expect to come home with great ideas and be inspired to share our knowledge not only with Lexi’s parents but also with the rest of the family, including her cousins who ask why she is different. This is a valid question, because autism’s greatest spokesperson, Temple Grandin, also under the spectrum, says about herself and all the others like her, “I am different, not less.”  Many thanks to the Chattanooga Autism Center for providing this event, and many thanks to my daughter-in-law Debbie for supporting me in this effort.  Together we can make a difference. ~  Blessings, Pris

The Light of Truth

The message this past Sunday was that pain may exist, but suffering is an option.  For example my back pain may not be completely

gone and I could easily give way to it by bemoaning my condition to myself and others.  Or I could embrace the pain as I mentioned before, and move on.  We are taught to praise and bless everything we encounter on our life’s journey.  That includes things that may appear painful, both physically and emotionally.  We are also taught to not judge others.  Our strength comes from our faith, and from that we can move into a positive state of Being where the light of Truth (our goodness) keeps us whole. ~ Peace, Pris

 

 

Heaven on Earth

My granddaughter Paige and I were driving home from school one day when the skies seem to be threatening to storm.  Paige said she loved rainbows.  I told her I did too.  A while back we discussed the meaning of a rainbow or rain-bow, which is a symbol of peace.  She asked me if they were real or just colors reflecting in the sky.  I then shared my all-time favorite rainbow experience.  Driving, one spring day from Lahaina, Maui on Hwy 30, my husband and I saw the most beautiful and very large rainbow; so big that it took two pictures for me to capture it completely.  One end was to our left on the hillside while the other end was across the highway in the ocean water.  The closer we got the cars on the highway seem to come to a crawl.  I realized why when we met the rainbow face-to-face.  The car filled up with a million colors.  I looked at Mark and him at me and together with tears of joy in our eyes we felt the most wonderful sense of peace.  This indeed reminded me that heaven is here on Earth.  Yes, Paige, rainbows are real. ~ Pris (a.k.a. Mimi)

~ Peace

Accepting Our Greater Good

It is easy for forget who we are.  Some may think of it as a calling to be who we have created ourselves to be – mother, father, husband, wife, grandparent, and so on.  Then add career choices, leadership roles, and volunteer positions.  When we reach down deep we see our true selves.  Rev. Michael Gott said it best, “We are here to express and experience Divine Love, to give and to receive that which we are.  We are called to remember that our true nature is pure love.” The next time I feel that I have lost my way, I’ll remember to accept my greater good which is more joy, peace and love.  I won’t forget my true nature.

Peace

Power of Affirmations

I try never to underestimate the power of an affirmation.  To create an inner experience that manifests in the outer world strengthens and empowers me.  I create affirmations based on what is important to me.  I took my recent struggle with my back pain to reconnect with my yoga exercises.  Affirming that all is well I nurture myself.  Another way to connect with life is to focus on something beautiful.  This week my Mother’s Day orchid given to me by my oldest son Brian, bloomed again for the third year in a row. When I affirm its beauty, I am also giving thanks for my son and his gift.  I stand in the “mountain” pose, and like my orchid, I am strong and stable.

Peace